BANG BANG
INDEPENDENT
DETECTIVE
JONATHAN SHAW

Written by: Slayde

memeroundups:

Way to ruin the afterglow - Sentence Memes { nsfw }

  • “So if you’re done, I’ll be getting my clothes now.”
  • “Think of this as a lifetime opportunity, because it’s never happening again.”
  • “That can’t seriously be it…”
  • “Is asking for cuddles afterwards really too much for you?”
  • “Well, that was awkward and inadequate. But you get an A for effort I guess…”
  • “Come on don’t fall asleep, let’s go for round four.”
  • “Oh I see what the problem is… you think this is something other than casual sex.”
  • “You know where the door is, you can lead yourself out. And pick up your pants.”
  • “Wow, you’re a lot more attractive when you don’t open your fucking mouth.”
  • “Yeah I know you’ve got a nasty streak, that’s why I tied you up.”
  • “So I didn’t actually have a condom at hand but I was really horny and you were hurrying me-”
  • “Look, I’m not saying you need to be loud next time but no one likes a silent starfish.”
  • “Warn me next time you try a weird idea like that so I can at least brace myself.”
  • “These handcuffs are pinching my skin, can you take them the fuck off?”
  • “If I’d known how bitchy you were going to get, I would have gagged you.”
  • “Shit… look, I was drunk. You were easy… basically, this shouldn’t have happened.”
  • “Well that was fun, right? … Hey, come on, turn that frown upside down.”
  • “That name you called out during sex better have been a fucking safe word.”
  • “So here’s my number. And I’ll text you if I ever need a booty call.”
  • “Are you trying to pay me for the sex we had?”
  • “Of course I caught your name, it was… say, how about I fetch us some water?”
  • “Well maybe if you had higher standards, you wouldn’t be complaining about spreading your legs for me.”
  • “Get off, my legs are falling asleep.”
  • “Don’t tell a single fucking soul this happened, or else.”
  • “Yeah I heard what you said, was just texting my friend that I got laid.”
  • “You wouldn’t be mad if I posted your o-face on instagram, would you?”
  • “Listen, we can both bicker about who’s the bigger asshole or I can bury my cock in yours again. Sound fair?”
  • “I can’t fucking believe this, to think that I slept with such a neanderthal-”
  • “I think your neighbors heard the whole thing…”
  • “Don’t tell me you pulled that out of a cosmo sex tip.”
  • “Please don’t… spank me next time…”
  • “Wait, you thought I was a virgin?”
  • “You can leave now. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
  • “I won’t take the collar off, that’s for good girls/boys who behave.”
  • “Look, you kept rubbing my feet and it was kind of creeping me out.”
  • “I think I need a long shower now… along with some self reflection…”
  • “Where are you even leaving to, this is your house.”
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▆ ┅RE:┊❛ OPERATION AUTOPILOT ❜ 【 queue 】
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